Have you ever had a Chinese businessman get you drunk over dinner? Believe it or not, this business tactic relates to today’s topic of developing your personal brand. Stick with me. 

In China, it’s common for businessmen to go out for a night of drinking with a possible new business associate before deciding to work with a person. In western cultures, where business practices are usually very different, we might call this unprofessional. Here, we prefer to stay on topic and argue the point at hand. (God forbid you to mention anything about your personal life, let alone allude to drinking!)

But should we be so quick to judge this tradition? 

The reason many Chinese businesspeople do this before exchanging money is because of a common societal tradition to assess your new business partner’s character in an organic setting first. “Friend or foe?” It’s common for Chinese businesspeople to determine this by going out to dinner, getting drunk, and talking about anything but business. 

Why? Because you can’t fake those interactions. 

Talking about personal matters and cutting loose actually reveals a lot about a person, and the businesspeople using this strategy understand that the values revealed in every-day interactions can translate over into a person’s business practices, too. This practice is great for solidifying healthy, friendship-based business relationships (or kills bad ones before they happen- which is probably always good thing.)

Yet in our western society, there are many who use false imagery of success and honor to make people believe their character is good- even if it isn’t. You can probably create a list of the most famous con-men (previously thought to be respectable businesspeople) who all did this- or are actively doing it. Jordan Belfort (former Wall Street stockbroker, now convicted felon) is a prime example. 

But what does any of this have to do with you and your personal brand? 

Western customs are being challenged and forcefully shifted by modern technology- that’s what! Modern search engines and social media algorithms (which drive the business ecosystem online and off) have been forced to start using the honor system in their search results- rewarding the most trustworthy people and businesses. This translates to a need for more up-front transparency from businesspeople who want to stand out.

With this transformation from the old ways of hyper-professionalism (to the point of falsity) to hyper-personalism and character-reading, we see a new era of transparency being welcomed- nay, demanded- by consumers (online or not.) 

The truth is, people no longer trust the polished, self-filtered personas portrayed by “successful” people of bygone eras.  Instead, today we see that the most successful influencers, businesspeople, and celebrities are the ones who defy expectations and are totally honest about who they are- and they don’t try to hide the “ugly” stuff. 

(Oprah Winfrey, one of the the most successful self-made woman ever, is known for crying unabashedly and empathizing with guests on her show and in her media empire.) 

Examples of such transparency in action in popular figures:

• In tech and innovation, Bill Gates still makes appearances on talk shows, podcasts, and other places where people can learn about not only his initiatives but to get the insider scoop  His story of being totally self-made and a self-appointed “nerd” helps people relate to him on a profound level. 
• In media, Oprah always offered her perspective to her talk show guests, allowing for raw, honest, and emotionally charged television in a world that was mainly highly-scripted at the time. She’s also a big believer in following your gut! 
• In science, Neil Degrasse Tyson answers questions from everyday people and uses the core message of “never-ending amazement in science” to drive a beginner-friendly take in astronomy and science. By making appearances with unassuming pop-culture shows like “Hot Ones” and “Joe Rogan Experience,” he shares his love of science with anyone willing to listen!
• In social media, plus-size model Ashley Graham (who boasts over 11 million followers on Instagram) is a pioneer of the body positivity movement- posting pictures of the good, the bad, and even the ugly side of her life. Glamour? Absolutely. Untouched photos paired with the touched up alternatives, illuminating the power of photoshop in ads? Yes again. The struggles of motherhood? All there. Her page has the permeating theme of radical self-acceptance that leaves people feeling better than before they came. 

What do all of these successful people have in common? Their beliefs are a driving force in all of their work- (and life) and they put it on full display. Simply by being open about who they are, they actively give people like them someone to relate to and someone to trust. 

These successful people did this from the start of their careers- and it’s been something many swear is responsible for their success.  Translating these lessons to fit your goals means it’s time to be honest about your personal brand and beliefs by being honest with yourself. 

What do you believe in? Why? Who would relate to your journey?

People want to see the details, and they want to know that you don’t just talk the talk, but also walk the walk.  Whoever you are, wherever you’ve been, you have something to offer other people- your experiences and dreams for the future. People will relate to even the smallest details of your life! While you yourself are totally unique, your specific experiences are almost always shared. 

That’s why you should tell the story about the time you made a mistake. Or, the time you did something wrong. Or, a time when you were the most vulnerable.  While these things aren’t traditionally synonymous with the image of “success” we in the western world love, they are what determines admirable character- and what people use to determine whether they trust or even like you.

Always remember: decisions are made using emotion, and backed up with logical thinking. Interpersonal relations are no different, and actually inseparable from business. Whether the decision someone is making is to sign a contract with you, hire you, or even simply follow you on Instagram, the emotional cues that your stories hit are what makes it the action happen. 

There is also a second issue that arises from this conclusion- the challenge of doing business virtually. The highly-important face-to-face “micro-interactions” and character-assessing situations are disappearing from business practices as we knew them, due to coronavirus and ever-increasing technology. 

There is no time for “water-cooler talk” between Zoom meetings, for example. 

So, there are two tasks for you:

1. Let people know the REAL you (and what you stand for) before the business talk begins
2. Get people to learn this voluntarily and virtually, possibly without them ever meeting you in person

That’s a tall order, but it’s one modern-day entrepreneurs are fulfilling every day, even during unprecedented world events. 

However people discover you and encounter your personal brand, my parting advice from implementing this strategy is still the same. 

1. Always be honest about your background. Whether you’re at dinner or live streaming, this will nurture the trust you desire with your audience. 
2. Break taboos. What’s the elephant in the room in your industry or area of interest? Talk about it and you’ll earn respect, while also proving that you understand other people, not just yourself. 
3. Be human. Everyone has “off days,” or days when they’re just putting out fires. You can have them too- and acknowledging it shows that you’re an open book. You can also cry and show emotion- because if Oprah did it, so can you. 
4. Take an interest in other people! Your audience isn’t a silent void. They’re REAL people! Answer their questions and make them feel special whenever possible, catering your initiatives to them. Social media makes this especially easy these days! 
5. Walk the walk. Do you practice what you preach? How do they know that? People don’t like braggarts- they like people who can back up their claims. So show them, don’t tell! 

As Dale Carnegie says, “People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing.”

Tie your core beliefs and passions into your personal brand and business ventures. This conveys and imbues them into your professional interactions. Then, it’s only a matter of time before you start seeing and feeling the magic happen.

Until next time, 

Heidi

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